Saturday, March 04, 2006

Oscars 2006: Get Your Swag Out of My Face!

In the weeks since the Academy Award nominations were announced, I've been trying to gather the gumption to write my annual preview piece.
Forget it.
This crop of crap is so bad, It doesn't even engender in me enough passion to rant on and on about how out of touch Hollywood elites are with the mainstream audience (nobody's seen these movies!), or how I can't remember a bigger celebration of political propaganda in the history of this already over-hyped event, or how "Walk the Line" and "King Kong" got screwed.
I say this every year, but this time I mean it: There's no way I'm watching this pretentious, masturbatory exercise. I hope Joaquin and Reese win, but other than that, who cares? I'm certainly not "rooting" for any of the Best Picture noms. I've only seen one, and that's only 'cause I thought I ought to. And it wasn't even that great.
So instead of analyzing these insipid awards, I'm going to watch my brother play basketball, check out the new Dave Chappelle movie, read a book, watch more basketball, go to church, and spend time with my wife.
I suggest you do some of the same. Hopefully if we all ignore the Oscars at the same time, someone out there in LALA Land will get the message.
Oh, wait, I forgot. This is Hollywood, where bad dreams live on—in remakes, sequels, and George Clooney movies.
Good night, and good luck.

4 comments:

Will said...

Just want you to know; those of us in Newport News did not watch any masturbatory exercises, pretentious or otherwise. Instead we watched a film that should have been nominated for best picture, and whose leading actor should have won. Walk the Line is a movie that should be in anyone’s DVD catalog. Congratulations to Reese.

Todd said...

I haven't seen any of the nominations, and I am particularly not going to see Brokeback Mountain. I read the story in Annie Proulx's Close Range, and I wasn't particularly impressed with the story itself, so why spend $7 to see the movie. And, I do think that in some cases--and I have a hunch this is true of Brokeback Mountain--that some of the attention some of the nominees have attracted is due precisely to the fact that their subjects are controversial. That it is about homosexuality is not my problem, but to nominate it on this account does bother me. Still, having said that, there was a time I lamented that the Oscars DID seem to cater to the middle class--a group that does not necessarily know 'culture.' I am a snob, perhaps, but I do appreciate the fact that this time Hollywood wasn't focused on money and special effects and some of the other fluff that has sometimes been the driving force of nominations. I don't necessarily agree with the nominations, but I do applaud the Academy for trying to see beyond the box office and the glitz.

Scott Something said...

Well, yeah, so Brokeback wasn’t very good. Hell, I said it was worse than you did. But I don’t think that all the movies and the people up for Oscars sucked. Or that they were a “crock of crap”. Just because you didn’t see the movies or performances that were nominated, doesn’t mean that they blow. I mean, 4 of the 5 nominated for Best Picture were decent, and three of them were really good. And I think three of them are on your “to watch” list. And the performances in the Best Actor and Supporting Actor fields were all solid. And the Academy actually got it right with Reese and Rachel. Yes, they got the Screenplays awards all wrong and admittedly it was boring as watching…um…Liam Gallagher on a stage. I know we don’t share the same political stance, but I just don’t think you can simply dismiss everything outside of “Walk the Line” with a single stroke. Just some thoughts.

Shakes said...

I have'nt wanted to watch the Oscars for the last five years, because I rarely agree with THE ACADEMY. These are sad times for me as I've always been a movie and theatre fiend; however, when art and craft take second stage to politics, it's time for this renaissance woman to exit.

Watching the Oscars was not on my list of things to do last Sunday. I didn't even realize they were on that evening. I wasn't aware of it until my co-workers shared the news on Monday. Why? I had been trying to ignore the drama until it all blew over. Plus, I was having a delightful time in a church service! Worshipping Chist is highly underrated!